50/50. When summarizing the odds you make it out of the “Triangle of Death,” 50% is very cool. When summarizing your win percentage, 50% is losing (when you consider the juice).

Onward and upward, let’s have a week. I’ll be watching my beloved Bears get waxed by the Utes. If you would’ve asked me a week ago, I would have had a different prediction, but that’s sports gambling. It might’ve sounded like this:

“Dave’s got all the answers to your questions. He’s the man. Is Shapen going to improve this year? Yes. Will your o-line recover from losing 4+ starters? Yes. Will the secondary be a dumpster fire again? Maybe. Will Baylor be good this year? YES!“

My assessment of the situation was WRONG. O-line has been downgraded to a dumpster fire and the secondary has been downgraded to booty cheeks. It’s not even worth mentioning that my Shapen take was spot on. So I won’t mention it…

More important than Baylor, let’s get to the songs of Saturday:

FDC: Vanderbilt v. Wake Forrest O56.5 – Black and Yellow by Wiz Khalifa

Yellow… gold, close enough. Both these black and gold teams will score a ton of points. OVER. 

Notre Dame -7.5 – The Boys of the Old Brigade by The Wolfe Tones

Special thanks to Guy #2 here. The Irish will get the job done this weekend and the boys will be singing.

FDC: Utah -5.5 – Homesick by Noah Kahan

It’s all in the title here. It’s a home game for me and I’m fairly certain I’ll be sick by the end of it. If the Bears can somehow only be half as bad as they were last week, I still see them losing by 10+ points.

FDC: Texas A&M v. Miami U51 – bad guy by Billie Eilish

The Shed’s First Lady (GSGFL) was not a big fan of this one. Any pick remotely against the Aggies makes me a bad guy in our house.

East Carolina +3 – Pirates Of The Caribbean by The Intermezzo Orchestra 

I was looking for the perfect pirate song and then it hit me…

UAB v. Georgia Southern O60.5 – On Top Of The World – Imagine Dragons

I imagine the Dragons and Eagles are going to do a lot of scoring. Points. Points. Points.

Liberty -10.5 – Courtesy Of The Red, White And Blue by Toby Keith

The folks wearing red, white, and blue are going to smoke the lesser Aggies.

FDC: Alabama -7 – Bury Me In Dixie by Riley Green 

The most Alabama sound I could think of. Tuscaloosa even gets a shoutout in this one. The Tide roll.

Washington St. +6 – Ms. Jackson by Outkast

Cougars baby!

Temple v. Rutgers U44 – Super Gremlin by Kodak Black

This game just gives me gremlin vibes. To stay under 44, it’s gotta be a super gremlin kinda game.

FDC: Stanford v. USC O69.5 – It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere by Alan Jackson & Jimmy Buffett

LOVE this pick. Both of these defenses are checking out of work early prior to the weekend. USC in particular lives by the “there’s defense played somewhere” moto. RIP to Buffet. Let’s run it up for Jimmy.

There you have it. Week 2 of Shed Songs. Time to improve on the 50/50 week and hit the moon.